Hello! I am Akhil. I am 2 months and 8 days old. Mummy has always been boring about herself in her blogspot and I am afraid that I’d be pulled into it too. Before mummy could have her chance to tell tales about me, here I am, sneaking a peak to brag awhile. I was born on March 30, 2010 and elders have quoted that the day fell into an astrologically significant ‘Hastham Nakshatra’. Whatever that means, I have no idea, neither does mummy nor daddy but Google always knows. It has listed out a number of virtues belonging to Hastham that the burden of proving myself worthy of those has been imposed upon me. What responsibilities for a baby!
I am a humble boy with simple needs. Milk and diapers is all I cry for and my parents are already cribbing that I am a lot of hard work. I made mummy crave for delicacies when she was pregnant and happily feasted on it. Now that I am out into this world, all I get is plain milk. It’s not my fault that I wake up and sleep at odd hours. Mummy’s womb was so warm and cosy. While big-bodies suffer change of food, climate and culture when they travel across the world, how can it be unfair for my little body not to have any adaptability issues? To top it all, my parents were complaining that I was turning them into a zombie. Total injustice and that was why I kept crying and fussing for the first 40 days. Otherwise, I am an absolutely adorable baby.
You see, even with all my difficulties, I had the maturity to understand my parents’ plight. I was co-operative when I was given a bath and reduced my weeping decibels, which they claim to be heard till my apartment’s parking lot. Instead, I chose a variety of noises to indicate wetness, colic and hunger and trained my parents to tend to me properly. Now they’ve learnt finally. Phew!
After 45 days of house arrest, I was dressed up on a fine day for an outing. Blue sky, green trees, cars and buses were all fascinating. If not for the smoke and dust, I wouldn’t have missed mummy’s womb so much. I was taken into an air-conditioned room and placed on a table in front of an old man with white hair and white coat. I was happily staring at the toys suspended near the table that I was placed on when I felt two sharp stings. The old man pierced a needle on my thigh in the name of vaccination and my parents were looking at it without objection. My daddy even helped the old man to hold my legs. Brutus! Both mummy and daddy! I screamed and screamed for five minutes, and then I realized that it wasn’t hurting so much and kept quiet like a big man. Had I wanted to, I could have gone on crying, couldn’t I? There is where I display my tolerance.
Mummy and daddy have been making comical faces thinking that they were entertaining me. Seriously, you grown-ups know nothing about baby needs that all those strange faces sometimes look pathetic. Only because my gentle heart refuses to hurt their feelings that I return a smile or two for their sake. At times, a crooked wink from daddy or an exaggerated smile from mummy looks so stupid that I giggle naturally and whoa they are overjoyed. How silly, na?
My parents’ friends must have foreseen that I might grow up into a potentially eligible son-in-law that they gifted me a baby pram. I am a gentleman and won’t accept advance dowries but this pram means more rides for me, rides that don’t end up with needles. I am no saint to resist temptation and these days, even saints yield to worldly pleasures. What resistance could I possibly possess? I accepted the pram as a symbol of love.
Mummy pushes the pram within the apartment compound every evening and I observe every face that looks at me resting on it. You might not believe it if I say that I am a lady charmer and only because my modestly intervenes, I refrain from boasting that every girl baby in my apartment premises have called me ‘cuteee’. One of two even pinched my cheeks which instantly turned pink, partly cause of the pinching and partly cause of my blushing. I’ve even started going for longer rides now, suspended to my mummy in a baby carrier like a kangaroo while my daddy drives the bike. I’ve been to my parents’ friends’ places and restaurants and cross my heart, I was a well-behaved baby everywhere. Just like my parents, I’m a born outdoorsy and enjoy every bit of it.
Life is getting better as I’ve come to terms with the reality. This world is where I have to spend my lifetime and playful though they are, these are my parents. My daddy has already challenged me to beat him in table tennis and my mummy has promised not to lecture too much if I were self-disciplined. This is where I take my vows. I will rise upto these challenges like a typical Aries and achieve much more than that. I will definitely be a naughty kid but not in an arrogant way. I’ve made my parents a mother and father and I will certainly make them feel proud of it. Amen.