I was starring at my monitor earnestly, debugging my java-script code. My determined mind had decided to work myself tirelessly so that I don’t stumble back into the trench from which I had just creeped out with a year’s emotional effort. No more tears, no more fears, I told myself. I am going to be happy! As I continued pressing F10, the mail popup distracted my concentration.I hastily opened my inbox and smiled at the two line mail from my ‘best’est buddy of six and a half years, now working in Bangalore. “Hey loosu, am coming to Pondicherry this weekend…meet u in your house”. Vijay Venkatesh for records, Vijay for relatives, VV for friends and Dunsten to me, shares more than one thing in common. To begin with, both were born on May 4th, 1984 with him being my senior by 6 hrs and 18 min. Both have faced similar happenings in life, have sought each other for solitude and solace in more than one occasion and stood together in good and bad times alike. We had taken our friendship so much for granted that there was no place for secondary thoughts whatsoever. A friendship that survived!
Thanks to our schedule, it was a little more than a month since he last phoned me or I last spoke to him that I responded to his mail with “So you are alive afterall!!!” And then realizing that we were in our respective offices, we agreed to take our talking over the phone that evening, where pulling each other’s legs was little more convenient than in office setup. True to our word, we spoke, starting off with Harry Potter, latest movie releases, teasing, jokes, and pranks blah blah blah. Our friendship doesn’t stop with us, it had extended to each other’s family too for years together that enquiring on our families was the next on list of our conversation.
Time ticked off clockwise as we were rewinding our lives anti-clockwise. Remembering high school days when we were silly and naive got us sufficiently amused that he even admitted that he had a crush on me once upon a time. I laughed it over and we talked ahead about other common friends and their current life, who is with whom and doing what, unaware that the clock was already showing 4 a.m. Strangely neither of us were sleepy that night but our mobiles were tired of charge and dozed off forcing us to doze off too.
I was thankful for the weekend the next day as I was on the ECR bus to my hometown. Lucky to have my favorite window corner to myself, I was re-running the conversation that I had with VV the previous day, something that I had never done before as far as he was concerned. I dismissed it when I reached home and carried on with my day but this last conversation seemed to run in my mind as a background thread, puzzling me myself. Since marriage alliance search was dangling over my head, I started wondering if our f’ship would sustain through it. Would our respective partners be able to understand our f’ship or even understand us the way we understand each other? Will our f’ship get diluted away with different priorities and different constraints? One question raised another and the final question shocked me, “Why not get married to Vijay himself?”
I was surprised at my thoughts and was feeling so guilty for even momentarily trying to ruin our friendship within my head. I scolded myself strongly and dismissed it but again the background process proved impossible to kill. It branched out to include doubts like ‘Does Vijay still have the crush on me that he did way back? Is he keeping quiet, afraid of messing up friendship? Is he feeling the same way I do now?’ While things stood so, Vijay joyfully knocked my door the next morning and chatted off as children, they way we always knew each other along with my parents. And then he left, leaving me feel more guilty. In circumstances like this where I was hazy, I used to talk to him for comfort but since this was involving him, I was lost without aid.
Finally I made up my mind. Good or bad, I’d confess my thoughts to him and come out of it clean. Its better to get things out and sort them one way or the other than muddling inside the brain as if we didn’t have enough things to bother about. I took a deep breath, collected my thoughts, composed a confused mail and sent it to him expecting him to reply with “Its-okie yaar, it-happens, we’ll-be-good-friends-always” kind of mail but the response that I actually got from him within half an hour surprised me by large.
It was simple and short and I remember it by-heart…“Hey loosu, You have said all I wished to say…, we’ve been reading the same book, me in chapter 6 and you in chapter 4. Why not me wait and we both read the rest of the book together?”
Crisp but the meaning caught, we decided to talk about it the next day in GTalk. Needless to say, when both of us already knew each other so well, understanding was achieved without explicit explanations. I went on being a chatterbox with him trying to rush him with all of my past in case he missed out on any and when I finally stopped with a sigh, he again surprised me with his sudden poised proposal, “There is only one thing I need to ask you. Are you ready to marry me?” I liked his courage and confidence. I liked his positivity and more than anything I’ve always liked Dunsten the way he was that it didn’t take more than 2 min for me to respond with “Yes Vijay, I will marry you”.
And after that things started speeding at 100 kmph. He informed his friends and colleagues while I told my brother. Yes from there! He told his parents and another yes from there! It was all so serendipitous that I had hoped for more and told my parents right away. They had known Vijay for long, more like a son that this news shocked them a little initially. Though decided so quickly, I’ve never felt more confident of my decision. Something deep within kept telling me that I had taken the right move and gave me the courage to face my parents this weekend with this issue and after all the talking, they’ve got convinced as well. Vijay had already been more like a family, now he can actually be family.
You’d be shocked and surprised to know that all these had happened in a week’s time because we are shocked as much too, happily shocked though 🙂 I was waiting to blog on this and announce my happiness to the world until I got the okie from my parents. Now that’s done, I shout on top of my voice to every soul out there “Vijay and myself do not know when and where we are to get married, that’s for our elders to take care, but we do know whom we are going to marry. We’ll marry each other!!!!”
Having been very good friends for long and having decided to become couples in future…it is just now that we are trying to start falling in love. Wish us good luck!!!