SURPRISE! I am going to become a mom for the second time! My son, Akhil, a big brother! One more addition to our family. More reasons to celebrate and more to share. Why then was the previous post clueless and confused, you might ask. Alright, that was fake. I wanted to pretend as if I were dull and depressed by putting up a post like last so that breaking out happy news two days later would have more dramatic effect. So there I am neither clueless nor confused, in fact I couldn’t be more certain or contended. Happy though I am at pulling a so called a practical joke on my blog, it did help me realize a bitter truth. I wasn’t really that wary of people when I wrote that post on Friday but oh now, I am. Whenever I put a happy post or Facebook status, there are a lot of wishes and congrats but when I put up something sad, there are hardly any, except for an unexpected few. Let aside public likes or comments, when I see a friend in trouble, I would at least talk to them or ping them offline to know what’s happening. But in spite of the page views that I monitor as a blogger, there was not much response from people whom I cared about or whom I believed cared for me. In times of happiness, there are plenty around but in times of trouble, you are alone. I am glad for learning this lesson the easy way than to have experienced it in truly tougher times. I have no desire to dampen my good spirit for I’ve stopped entrusting my happiness quotient to things outside my family. So, thanking people who did offer comfort and thanking more to the ones who made their place clear, I’ll move on with the happy news. For a long time, we were happy with one kid and wondered why to go for another when we our little one gives us all the happiness that we need. We did have a tough time soon after the birth of our son, that the thought of repeating the whole thing again, in parallel to tending to a naughty toddler scared our wits to no end. But as time went by, as Akhil grew more, he wanted to play around with kids his age more than he wanted to play with us. No matter how we tried to entertain him, he felt bored soon and was always sneaking out to play with our neighbors’ kids. And then, seeing those kids with siblings, he wanted one for himself and started pestering Vijay and me for a baby brother or a baby sister.We initially dismissed it as a temporary childish longing. But seeing Akhil yarn for a sibling and blabbering about it in his cute little kiddo voice, we were enticed and entrapped too. Witnessing couple who regretted their decision for a single kid when it was already too late for them, we wanted to make hay while the sun shines. In today’s trend, irrespective of how many friends, relatives or neighbors we have, each family unit is a capsule. People come and go in life but the capsule stays intact until the little ones within become adult enough to break out and make their own capsule. The idea of strengthening our capsule with another sweet addition suddenly became very desirable. Five years from now, a beach vacation at a resort, Vijay and I on the shore, resting on each other’s arms and chatting, Akhil and our second baby building sand castle and playing around, they quarrelling with each other for an exotic sea shell, I admonishing them to share, Vijay already into the water to find another shell, WOW, we’ve started weaving such fantasies every day that we could wait no longer for the second one to come by. I also had some principles for myself. No matter how many kids, I wanted to have them all before I was 30. With all the medical advancement, it’s true that people have their babies in their late thirties and early forties too. To me, it is not just about pregnancy and delivery. Between 20 and 30 of a woman is the time when her offsprings are the healthiest, not just at birth but for its lifetime. I wanted to give that to my kid; even it means little sacrifices from the parents’ side in the beginning for a greater happiness in future. There are certain things that I believe shouldn’t be pushed off in favor of other commitments, kids are among those. Besides, lesser the age gap between the parents and the kids, the more we can connect to them and easier it is to cope with the early baby difficult times.
And yes, we wanted to space our kids no lesser than 3 years to lessen sibling rivalry and no more than 4, to ensure that they don’t miss out on playmate companionship along with sibling affection in the later years. So, what do I say, unlike last, this pregnancy was perfectly planned and happened exactly when we wanted it to. I had some unfulfilled longings and disappointments last time that I believe wouldn’t repeat itself again, for I’ve wiped my slate clean of all hopes of expectations from anyone at all except my hubby and son. With triple confirmation from home pregnancy test, gynecologist opinion and early scan report, I couldn’t really wait for 3 months to blow the news on my blog. If this is a destined baby too, it will come to us in another 8 months whether I say it out or keep it within. It will come to us to turn our fantasies real and until then, I’ll keep weaving more, weaving more, more and more.