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Oh My God

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I am agnostic! It simply means that if there is God, let him or her be. If God does not exist, so be it. I am not bothered either ways and I’ll go about my day my own way without supernatural dependencies or influences. Now, take your two minutes to give me the perfect scorn that I’ve got used to receiving at the mention of my religions status. When you are contentedly done, come back, we’ll talk more.

I watched the satirical movie ‘Oh my God’ last night and couldn’t take my mind off it. Paresh Rawal with his atheist reasoning and Akshay Kumar with his definition of a true theist assured me that I wasn’t the only weird one in the world. No, I am not going to write a review on what has already been said in the movie. If you want to hear about it, go watch. I am only writing down an epilogue with my own views and experiences because this is MY blog.

A few days ago, a friend asked me in a truth or dare moment, “Honestly, do you believe in God?” and I replied, “I used to”. There was a time when I was very proper and pious, praying to the almighty for the simplest things in life. “Oh God, please let my class teacher be absent today. Oh God, let my dad forgive me for losing my new pen and get me another one”. I used to go on insanely talking to myself and reflexively conclude “Okie, I’ve got to hang up. Take to you later.” You get it? I was that addictively religiously dependent. And then, things happened that led me to the opposite end of the spectrum, hating God, refusing to enter temple of any kind or even attend the festive pooja rituals at home. I used to dodge the religious processions and deliberately rebel anything and everything divine.

That was a phase before I became a fully converted atheist. I realized that hating God was by itself a belief in another form. I mean, you cannot hate something that you don’t believe exists. So, I stopped my hatred and started taking the rationalist’s route, debating on the existence of God. It gave me a sadistic pleasure to win such arguments just like how Paresh Rawal as Kanji would have felt when he did in the movie. Instead of going to scriptures, my interest was drawn towards books on abnormal psychology, trying to fathom the mysteries. I would have probably been the only student to have borrowed the only psychology book available in my engineering college library.

Psychology has answers to a lot riddles that we think has no solution. Today we know that whoever believes that he or she is possessed by God or demon is actually displaying his or her alter ego. Likewise, something that we believe is a miracle of God is nothing but answers coming from the subconscious mind, basically from one’s own inner self. Courtesy: ‘The Power of Your Subconscious Mind’ by Dr. Joseph Murphy. God or not, our deepest desires when worked upon with diligent effort will definitely materialize.

With a little more reading, little more time and a little more maturity, I kind of understood that atheism at extreme would become as much a religion as any other. One fights for Krishna, one fights for Jesus, one for Allah and one for No God. Not so different isn’t it? That’s when I decided to stop fighting it, to blend with the greys between the black and white, to take a middle path, to become an agnostic. Looking above to the super power did make me less efficient by myself. Answered prayers hyped my expectations and unanswered ones caused blame and disappointments. This neutral path that says “No one but me is responsible for my decisions and actions” has pulled away the leaning stick, driven me to take bold decisions and face the full consequences, good or bad, without pointing fingers.

A couple of months ago, I went on a trip to Tirupathi. Trip, not pilgrimage! My religious neighbors were happy that I was finally coming around. My mom said it should have been God’s call that I visit him and made me want to do it. My husband was just plain amused. When I asked myself why I wanted to do it, the answer was pretty straight forward. As a child, when my mind was innocent to accept everything that was taught in school, including moral ideologies, I believed going to Tirupathi would give me an answer and it did because I BELIEVED so. After so many years, in spite of rationalization, I go to Tirupathi seeking for an answer. This time around, I know that the answer would come not from God, but from my subconscious that continues to remain influenced by childhood belief of going to Tirupathi giving me answers. Answers that could come today, tomorrow, next year or next decade. Either I should re-work on my subconscious or just make the trip. The latter is easier. To go to Tirupathi without prayers or offerings but simply because I want to and I don’t need a reason to want to. Twisted explanation but that works for me.

This is where an agnostic enjoys full freedom. He doesn’t have to support or defend his religious stand. He can just be himself and do what he feels is right, without harming anyone, raising questions from his conscious and deriving answers from the subconscious and just be responsible for it without fear or favor. No need to glorify God, no need to prove God’s non-existence, to follow rituals that makes him happy, you know, like making and eating sweets for Diwali, to give up those that doesn’t make a lot of sense, okie, I don’t want to quote examples from this endless list and to frame a customized personalized regime that helps him go about his day to day life in the best possible way. I must say I like this stand.

Agnostics are not anti-God people. We just don’t need him.

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10 thoughts on “Oh My God

  1. Agree with your points. But adding to it the world was not created by itself. Everything has a reason behind it where it is far away from science or technology to get the answers. If there is no GOD then how did human come to earth? who created them? Concept of adam and eve cannot be false. To be frank there is a supernatural who is watching evry single soul in this soil. Even in the end of the movie Oh My God paresh rawal beleives there is existance of GOD.

  2. Awesome 🙂 Me and my friend had discussed about meeting a woman who don’t believe in god. (To say in your terms who dont need him :)) We never crossed such woman in our life. And you are the first one. Good work. carry on 🙂

  3. @Anonymous: Okie, some believe in Adam and Eve story while some believe in big bang theory. I guess, its all a matter of belief. And in my opinion, God is belief, be it on idol or science or one’s own self. Agnostism is not trying to argue the existance or non-existance of God, like you just have tried. We have theist and atheist to do that job. We just let things be the way they are and go about our task without dependancies and that according to me is a good thing.

    @SHIVA: A person named SHIVA is appreciating a not-so-Godly content. What an irony! 🙂 Well, for some reason belief in God has been attributed to the goodness of a person and many women still need that branding to prove their goodness. I am confident about the goodness in me, otherwise, I wouldn’t have a good night sleep. Therefore, I don’t need God. Hence the proof 🙂

    @Lakshmipathy: Uhmm…Good to know that you’ve changed your name to Agnostic but I am still Archana, thank you 🙂

  4. Hi, I am the other friend who discussed with Shiva about finding a non-believer woman 🙂 Interesting read … I ve read the book about the sub-conscious too and I could relate well to what you have written (Though the book is a bit of a drag beyond the first 50 pages) . – Cheers,

  5. @மதி: Hey…nice to meet fellow agnostics who actually admit that they are 🙂 Religion and (non)beliefs go beyond genders. I read the book a years ago and yeah, it was quite a drag. Agree. I just remember the key point and have been leading my life accordingly by far.

    @Lakshmipathy: Hmmm…what is your problem now?

  6. Good, the state of being confident in what you believe will definitely bring the peace and joy in life. You concluded.

    I have many questions on this topic and I’m not here to promote any religion, but I attempted couple of times to read and understand BhagavadGeetha, for several reasons couldnt complete it so far. Hope I would do it soon. 🙂

  7. its indeed quite an interesting perspective that you have shared. Once a believer in ‘Hinduism’, I have sailed past those shores now.

    Now, I’m more of a firm believer of the words shared by H.P. Owen: “‘Pantheists’ are ‘monists’…they believe that there is only one Being, and that all other forms of reality are either modes (or appearances) of it or identical with it.”

    maybe the different aspects shared in the end of the movie – OMG, merely reflected the sentiments I now believe in. I hv not been to any temple in the past couple of years. I don’t feel the need to. 🙂

  8. @Anon: Sorry, my reply is coming a tad late. When you do read and understand Bhagavad Geetha fully, share me the gist. I might not be big on religion but I love reading books, mythical or otherwise.

    @Arvind: Sorry to you too dear pal for a late acknowledgement of your comment. Born around the sametime, I am sure I can understand the drift, if not directly relate to it. All I can say is, good for you, move on with self-confidence buddy, like you’ve been doing so long! 🙂

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