I want to know! I want to know! Whether to buy pink or blue baby dresses, whether to choose Barbie or Spiderman blankets, whether to call my baby a ‘she or ‘he’, I just want to know! Some people would like to know it the traditional way, at the time of birth, but that’s not for me. I want to know from start. During my last pregnancy, I wasn’t this curious. Boy or a girl, I’d have been happy just the same. But now that I am already blessed with a naughty baby boy back at home, I strongly desire for a sweet darling girl. Even if she grows to be a daddy’s pet, not a problem, I have a mama boy to compensate; I still want a baby girl to make my family picture complete.
My longing for a girl becomes very profound especially when I visit these baby shops where they have a vast collection of colourful fancy baby girl dresses. Come on, let’s admit. There are only so many colours and varieties that one could do with boys clothes, the older they get, the lesser the choice and I’ve done them all with Akhil. Enough and enough with animals and cars and planes in the nursery. I want some soft toys and cuddly bears for a warm touch. My son is mischievous the obvious way and now I want a silent monkey who’ll bat her eyelashes and smile innocently while she plans pranks behind your back.
I’ve tried every old wives’ technique so far, the gold chain over my palm, the heart beat count, the Chinese calendar and it all points to a girl. I’m happy! Happy enough that I have assumed to be carrying a baby girl and cooing to her so for the last 7 months. Assumed enough to make my hubby believe it too. Belief enough to bias my son who now says that that he wants only a baby sister and that if I give him a brother, he would give him to someone else. Not a good thing to do, I know. But one of the myths is that the gender of the second child will be decided by the desire of the first. I was secretly influencing my son’s desire. I would nevertheless be happy and equally excited with a baby boy but with a girl, the happiness would be tad more.
Without relying on tales and myths alone, I was looking for scientific proofs as well. During every visit to the Ultrasound, I get all geared up to find some clues on my baby’s gender and get disappointed every time. Let alone showing what it has to for my attempts to succeed, my baby doesn’t even show its face. Shy or stubborn, I don’t know. To make my frustration worse, the sonologist gives me a stern or hideous look as if I was about to commit the most illegal crime of the century. Dammit! For once, I regretted living in India and to abide by its generalized laws.
Agreed that female infanticide is a major problem in many parts of India. But is banning sex determination the real solution? Do parents who are willing to abort their baby girl in the womb really hesitate to kill it when it’s born? Or worse, throw it in a public dustbin? Take action against such heartless morons. Why forcefully deny every mom, dad and sibling their eagerness to know more about the new addition to their family and prepare accordingly. Not just physical and practical preparations but psychological ones too like weaving dreams and bonding more.
How I hate these generalized Indian laws! Remove tinted windows in vehicles to reduce crime rates. Blame movie item numbers for rapes. Ban sex determination to solve female infanticide. People who want to do it, still do it stealthily through unlawful means, defeating the purpose of the law and questioning medical ethics. Law can force parents to give birth to a child they don’t want but what can it do if the parents raise it as a burden without love, care or even basic needs. Isn’t a child’s welfare more important than just accounting for boy girl ratio and statistics on the ledgers?
Think government, think. Think more and think deep! Superficial laws will remain just that, superficial. Uproot the underlying causes, spread awareness, educate more on equality, admonish and punish crimes severely instead of labelling trivial things as illegal and crime. Stop limiting the rights of every citizen to mask your inability to tackle the actual problem. If prevention is the solution for everything, one day, we’ll all be issued curfew from stepping out of our house under the pretext of safety and security.
Yeah, I’m all worked up about this now because of my mounting frustration. I want a girl, to raise her as a bold, brave and confident woman. Not as a submissive shy helpless chick that our society has named as “good girl” for ages and ages. If law and society doesn’t let her at peace, I’ll change my world and society for her. The longer I assume I have a girl, the more I want her. The more I want her, the more I would be disappointed if it turns out to be a boy again. No, I am not prejudiced against boys. Only because I already have a wonder boy who makes me happy in every way, I want a wonder girl this time. If only sex determination was legal, if I am carrying a boy, I would have known earlier, prepared earlier and by now would have written a blog post wanting another son as much as I have craved for a girl here. Damn these laws for denying me that!