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Shades Of Traits

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This is a shamelessly vain and profane post. There! I’ve made the judgment that you might after reading this post fully. Why vain? Because this post is going to be about me or at least use my own self to project the point that I am trying to make. Why profane? Because many of you, especially the ones who follow society’s codes of conduct ethically will not like it. I can hear the sniggering mummer “Hey! Most of your posts have been about you anyway, why put on a show of modesty?” Well, that’s my technique to keep the purists at bay. If you insist on reading further, remember you are reading MY post in MY blog and your judgment at the end will only be a distant echo of something already mentioned above with no credit for originality. You’d rather do better by opening your mind from prejudices before you continue or exiting this post right here! Blame me not! I’ve forewarned you.

With roughly seven lines of an opening statement, it is quite natural to expect the unexpected. If so, get ready to embrace disappointment. I am only trying to dissect my own personality. A vertical cross-section if you please, to establish that unlike the biological similarities between human beings across races which tend to extend as far as our primates, every single one of us is unique. Our personality traits simply cannot be classified. With 23 pairs of chromosomes permuting and combining in 23 factorial ways, is it not absolutely absurd to try and fit everyone into pre-made, society-made molds?

That’s enough digression under the pretense of sufficient introduction. Let me get back to my point. All of us are so used to being scrutinized constantly by all of us ourselves, validating our righteousness to the society and judging those who are either different from us or is indifferent to the validation process. A victim and predator approach simultaneously! In my case, I’ve come a full round from trying to please the society to the extent of making a fool of myself to simply shutting my doors to the gibbering noises outside. Now, I only get amused when faced with curious unvoiced questions in attempts to classify me. If you even try, I’ll confuse you!

Here we go, mold and premises one by one. As a female myself, starting with a basic girly mold. For the girls in their teens and early twenties, the classification goes thus (Mind you, I am not the one who is classifying. I am merely stating known conclusions from basic premises). Mold 1: The shy, meek and reserved girl who is pretty in a traditional way, acts conservatively and hence becomes a good girl. Mold 2: The bold, beautiful and boisterous trendy, freaky and fun-loving with little respect for morals and hence a slut. Mold 3: The bland but brainy geek, possessed with books and academics, blind to real world and hence a weirdo. Mold 4: The dull and gossipy whose interests lie solely in clothes, jewelry, TV serials, food and sleep.

In my younger days, I was meek and scared of horror movies (oddly till date) but bold to argue my point across hierarchies, was freaky and fun-loving but value virtues. Not virtues like virginity and obedience obviously but more like honestly and kindness. I love books and reading but give me something on religion, I’ll run through the back door. I love to gossip on movies and their leads but tell me something about a friend, family or neighbor, I’ll fade out and start wondering when is that you are going to gossip about me. I like to work-out and love food. Above all, I like to sleep like a baby, dreaming of things that are not possible in reality or at least in the reality today. Now, classify me!

For the young guys, the template goes thus. Mold 5: The gentle, considerate, romantic souls who end up doting on their love or spouse and hence not sufficiently masculine. Mold 6: The brave and brawny toughies who indulge in strong sports and cat-calling and hence a rowdy. Mold 7: The obedient, reserved, and family conscious, always on the lookout for the lightening to strike and hence an insecure mommy-boy. Mold 8: The mad scientist or the ingenious prodigy and therefore allowed a free pass to escape blames from the consequences of day to day difficulties and practicalities. I am not a guy here and I do not want to bring out personal examples. Go guys, you go figure!

For the little older ones, men and women inclusive, here is the outline. Mold 9: The workaholic fearsome dad and a doting stay-at-home mom. One commands and the other submits. Mold 10: The easy-go dad and a career ambitious mother. Sometimes, they are considered so easy-going or ambitious, wary of responsibilities that they seldom become a dad or mom. Mold 11: The power chasers, who run behind titles and hence forget family. Mold 12: The wealth pursuing misers with bulging bank accounts and still never tire of accumulating.

I love my kids so much that I had them back-to-back and constantly irritate my Facebook friends with kids and family photography. I am fiercely ambitious (you have no idea) but am a stay-at-home mom for the last one year in light of let’s say other plans. I desire power, for when used constructively power can bring about positive changes in life and society and as for wealth, what shall I say, who doesn’t pursue? Using my husband as a guy example, my husband works sincerely and dedicatedly but when the clock strikes 6PM, he is back home. He is the house’s technician, be electrical or electronic or whatever, with die hard interest in Table Tennis and Aquarium. A cool dad who not only plays with kids but change and feed them too, shouts or yells in attempts to bring about discipline and sensitive when he makes love to his wife. Where does he portray?

Well, on the last section, I am severely handicapped in trying to limit to these few molds. There are many more. Many many many more. It’s surprising how templates and judgments are made merely based on something as superficial as dressing sense. If you extend this to different ethnicities, sky is the limit. There could be overlaps between templates, especially between guys and girls but I am deliberating keeping them in boundaries, just so that our self-defenses will bring the overlaps to limelight and hence help my purpose. My purpose is to question the existence of templates. Overlap doesn’t arise when there are no templates. Whatever justification is given for these templates to structure the society, those have dwindled out and vanished. We are moving on and it’s not reasonable to lull the whole luggage along. What has to be left behind has to be, our prejudice is one of the heaviest unwarranted baggage at that.

Just imagine a world where you are unbound by external shackles and live your life the way you want to. One’s freedom doesn’t mean other’s hindrance. I am talking about a place where you can be your own self and do things that you want to without being forced or because that is expected out of you. To not be pressurized, we should stop pressuring. To be unjudged, we must stop judging. To be, we have to let be. Throw your two pennies in and we can build that world. If not world, we can build our home and neighborhood in the least. After all the disclaimers and defenses, if you still strive to stick to your carefully constructed cards-castle and look down on me as a boasting bitch, remember, by doing that, you are only complimenting me. Thank you very much!

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3 thoughts on “Shades Of Traits

  1. @HBK: Bloga padichu puriyalana, puriyalanu vitturanum. Ippdi thappu thappa purinjitu neeye mokka vanguriyehh….ayyoo paavam 🙂

    @padfOOt: “With roughly seven lines of an opening statement, it is quite natural to expect the unexpected. If so, get ready to embrace disappointment.”

    “Why profane? Because many of you, especially the ones who follow society’s codes of conduct ethically will not like it.”

    Ha! I’ve replied to your comment in my post itself 🙂 The post is already big enough. If I try to make too much of a point, the point will be lost. Somethings are better left to be deciphered by individual introspective process. Let’s say the ‘more’ part is left to that. 🙂

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