Gone are the months when I was fighting first trimester fatigue and sickness without feeling the foetus. Gone are the months of second trimester when strangers on the street wondered whether I was sporting a baby bump or just a bulging tummy. Here comes the last trimester when I am properly showing that I am pregnant with active baby movements that leave no place for doubts. Here I am on my last lap of pregnancy. Probably, the last lap of my last pregnancy.
I am not a newbie here. I’ve been down this road before when I carried my son Akhil and with experience comes the wisdom of what to expect and what not to, what is normal and what is not. And the same experience brings back a few unfulfilled expectations that I had been nurturing secretly.
In the last three years since the birth of Akhil, whenever I was invited to or witnessed a baby shower function, some part of me gave a deep sigh, not exactly an upset feeling but a touch of sadness for missing out on it when it was my turn. I had to skip it out then for a multitude of reasons that we better not get into right now. Happy though I was for a wonderful son from my previous pregnancy, I still had this silly silent longing which made me consciously avoid attending such functions of other pregnant women I knew. I kept telling my husband that if at all we decide to have another baby, we should definitely have a baby shower. Now that I am carrying my second child and coming from me, it might sound strange but I badly want to have the baby shower that I missed out the first time around.
It’s a common knowledge that I am an unconventional person who gives precedence to practicality over customs. Why this sudden interest for a conventional function, you might ask, just like how my husband has asked me so many times in the last few months. I don’t know. I don’t really know why. I just know that I want it. Just like cravings and mood swings, I guess this pregnancy makes me desire things that I would have normally brushed aside. Or like my maid hinted, perhaps, the baby in my womb is a cute baby girl that makes me wish for girly things. Fingers crossed!
As misunderstood by many, modern outfits alone doesn’t necessarily signify or symbolize modern thoughts, nor does traditional attire make you any more or less orthodox. It’s all in the cultured and progressive broad mind. Using that statement as my defence, I admit that I want to dress up neat and nice in a silk sari, with bangles, flowers, jewels and paraphernalia, looking every bit traditional and making as many memories of it as possible through photographs and videos to look at and smile later on. The last time I remember dressing up so grand was during my school days classical dance annual day celebrations. I am not counting my wedding here because that didn’t happen the way I would have wanted it to. I was just playing puppets then; doing what I was told to do and asked to do for the greater desire of getting married to the man I wanted to than the way I wanted to. But now, for whatever reasons, I am not giving up on this baby shower opportunity once again.
Baby shower is all about celebrating motherhood and enjoying the attention that it brings. Once the baby comes, everybody’s attention, including and mainly the mother’s gets re-directed to the small little wonder. For once, I crave some of that attention and I want the festivities to be different from the usual parties which is one other reason for this temporary turn towards traditionalism. Having said that, I also want to ensure that whatever is done keeps the environment happy and harmonious for everyone in attendance, without compulsion, stress or embarrassment. Leaving the organizing in the hands of either of our families will defeat the purpose of my desire itself. An unceremonious ceremony, definitely excluding God and religion, with just the good parts from various customs and ethnicities to have a good time is all we want. Vijay and I plan to host it ourselves with just a friend or two in our own residence.
So…we want a baby shower and we are doing it. There is still one big problem. Except for the bangles and food, neither Vijay nor I know what to do or how to go about it. Absolutely clueless. We are not taking personal help as we don’t want to feel obligatory gratitude. That is why I am blogging here, seeking for pointers from everyone who has gone through it, witnessed it or even know just a little more about it. We’d appreciate suggestions from men too as we don’t want this to be a ladies only occasion. Vijay has offered to do my Mehandi, which even though may not be as perfect as a parlour artist’s, will still give a personal touch. More such suggestions are most welcome. Let’s mix a little of this and a little of that and help me have one fun-filled day that’s great for everyone.
Thank you in advance!